Be Brave Not Safe

What is DIY? Do it yourself!

We recently took on the project of replacing the carpeting in our living room with laminate flooring (something I had never done before). Yes, the simple and quick option would have been to pay someone else do it for us. However, with a little time investment there are SO many benefits of DIY!

The primary “hidden” benefits relate to having the kids involved and/or observing the work-in-progress. As any DIY’er knows, as soon as you start a project MANY interrelated projects pop-up.

You tear up the carpet and backing, then have to dispose of it. The floor may need leveling. You decide to refinish all the woodwork. You realize the electrical sockets, switches and plates as well as the ceiling lights are old/dingy and the color doesn’t match the newly finished woodwork and flooring. So, you replace them. You feel cold air coming through the gaps in the wall which were hidden by the carpet (geez, I think a small rodent could get through there!), so you caulk. And, finally, the installation of the floor and baseboard trim.

The entire process demonstrates to the kids self-sufficiency (you can do “just about” ANYTHING yourself). At the beginning of the project one of the kids asked “Are we going to get paid for this?” Before I could answer, my wife responds with “YEAH, FREE RENT!” What a team 🙂

Then there is the discomfort. “Geez Dad, there is no place to relax.” A clear incentive to chip in and “get’er done!” If we paid someone else to do it, the kids wouldn’t have the opportunity to actively participate in the process; it would seems mysterious (hmmm, I’m really not sure how all this stuff gets done. I must not be able to do it.). Every once in a while it is good for the kids to see the house all tore up, and then have them participate in putting it back together again!

The more selfish benefits include DIY being a significant, multi-day work-out! Not to mention, saving literally thousands of dollars on the entire process!

Yes, there are times when it may make sense to pay someone else to do it (large scale projects requiring heavy equipment and/or highly specialized skills). But, more often than not, household improvements and repairs fall into the DIY category. You CAN do it!

My number one goal in life is to “Launch 4 enabled, well-adjusted young men into the world.”

During a recent gathering on our street I mentioned to a neighbor that we “helped” each of our kids get a car. He responded with, “We don’t want to spoil them, too much.” I agree with that 1,000%. We did this for 2 reasons:

1. I know what I did to my Dad’s vehicles (sorry Dad) and there was NO WAY I was about to provide an opportunity for my kids to do the same to mine 🙂
2. More importantly, we wanted to enable them, providing opportunities to learn and grow

First, how did we “help” them get a car. The deal was, the better the grades the more “help” they got. The result; each has a stake in the acquisition of their (used) car.

How does this enable them? It provides a TON of freedom. And, they have to feed and care for their car.  Not to mention the benefits that we as a family realize: we aren’t competing for the use of a vehicle or managing the complex logistics of each other’s comings and goings.

So, if they want to “maintain” their sense of freedom, they need to work a job and perform other simple time and financial management tasks, such as making sure they have:

• Gas in the tank in advance of “rushing off” to school
• Enough pocket change to pay the toll (soon realizing the benefits of getting their own EZ-Pass to simplify matters)
• Enough funding in their checking account to pay for gas when they arrive at the pump, when EZ-Pass makes the withdrawal to replenish the account or the auto insurance company takes their monthly payment
• Enough funding (in reserve) to pay for the unanticipated repair bill as well as the annual inspection and registration fees
• Shoveled their car out of the snowbank (especially this year!) and still make it to school, work or Tae Kwon Do on time

And, when (not if) there are infractions or accidents (both of which cause insurance rates to go up) guess who pays? They do! On the flip side, upon demonstrating continued good grades they can realize a discount on auto insurance!

This (car ownership) also provides the opportunity to learn self-sufficiency and some basic “mechanics.” For example, when the car doesn’t pass inspection because of a bad taillight and cover, they learn where the nearest junkyard is, pay $12 for the part and install it themselves vs. paying the exorbitant fees at an auto service center (or worse, at a dealership).

Yes, the above are basics. The alternative is that we (parents) worry about/pay for these things for our kids, vs. providing them the opportunity to figure it out. Our opinion is that if they are old enough to drive they are old enough to be taking care of these things. And, finally, it significantly reduces the “sucking sound” coming from our bank account 🙂

The object of teaching a child is to help him get along without his teacher. ~ Elbert Hubbard

One might think: “Geez, if they have their own car and ONLY a part time job while going to school they must be working simply to keep their car on the road.” Wrong. These guys each have more cash in the bank (that they earned, and more importantly, saved) than some adults I know. A note for the young ladies in town 😉

If you’d like other ideas on how to raise enabled and well-adjusted kids, check out the recommended readings on this subject. And, feel free to reply with approaches you’ve used to accomplish the same.