Be Brave Not Safe

For they that spend time on the trails, oh the wisdom it does avail.

As I write this, my oldest son (Ian), my brother (Roger) and I just completed a 13-mile ride in Bear Brook State Park. We have ridden here on numerous occasions; each time being a new / GREAT experience. Today’s ride was mostly single-tracks through dense forest. And, we only saw 3 other carbon units 🙂

Below is a photo that Ian took from a trail that runs along-side a steep ravine that drops well over 100′, with Bear Brook at the bottom. These photos never do things justice. Trust me: you had to be there 🙂 You can zoom in by clicking on the image.

We use the AllTrails app, provided by National Geographic, to record our rides as well as navigate in the wilderness. Occasionally the app will hurl (that is technical for “throw bits”) and crash, as it did today on my brother.

No worries, my iPhone held its breakfast. And, if you click on the image below you can view details of our ride online.

But, why does this happen?

Considering the amount of processing going on (calculating location, speed, distance, duration, elevation, etc.) often when there is weak or no cell signal, along with all the other things going on, on the iPhone, it sometimes results in memory overload. The app simply has to shutdown, regather itself and come back to life.

We have found that if we close out all the other apps on the iPhone, in advance of starting up AllTrails, the chance of it hurling is greatly diminished.

Such is our brain.

Life offers MANY distractions and stimuli (good, bad or indifferent). Some are self-imposed, others arrive from the world around us. These can be requests, ideas, epiphanies, shiny objects, important tasks, screaming kids, an enflamed customer, etc.

The reality: Our brain can only effectively think about, and process, one thing at a time. This is why it is so important to consciously manage our time and NOT let our time be ruled by others. And, as detailed in a prior post, we must consistently EMPTY OUR MIND. Because, like it or not, if we don’t, we will increasingly become ineffective, overwhelmed, stressed out and, eventually hurl.

If you haven’t read the post Empty the Mind, just click here to do so.

And, you are encouraged to identify a fulfilling activity (or activities) that will serve as a frequent reboot enabling you to recharge and refocus! For me, it is spending time in-the-woods.

Have a great day!

One summer, while in Middle School, I took golfing lessons. And, if memory serves me, I was “pretty good” for a kid. I played a number of times with the group as well as my Dad and Grandfather.

10 or so years later, I played a few more times.

Then, about 7 years ago, I played again. I was invited by a client and one of the consultants on my team, who was doing some work for this client. The client was an avid golfer, and it showed, The consultant wasn’t bad either; he played a very respectable game. I, on the other hand, sucked. Embarrassingly so.

Since then, when people have asked if I play golf, my answer has been: NO!

Until…

My son Ethan is a natural athlete. He is exceedingly good at EVERY sport he has tried. Recently he took up golfing. This at least partially results from the fact that one of his personal training clients gave him a nice (as far as I can tell) set of golf clubs!

So, several days ago he asked me if I’d like to join him on the links. My response was immediate: “Sure would!” Although, in the back of my mind I was replaying the PAIN of embarrassment experienced during my last round of golf…

Even so, this was an opportunity to hang-out with my son (and, obviously, strive to BEAT him 🙂 ).

So, bright and early last Monday we hit our local golf course.

The match began as we drove up to the first tee off, with our cart. Just ahead of us were 4 older gentlemen who were walking the course. They had a tee time immediately following ours.

Knowing that we are both novices, we offered these gentlemen the opportunity to go before us, to which they responded: “No, you guys have a cart. Go ahead.”

Bummer, now we have an audience. I hate audiences, when I suck at something 🙂

Since Ethan had played recently, including several visits to the driving range, I asked if he wanted to go first, which he did.

The result, which I had expected for myself: He dubbed it.

My gut wrenched from the pain I knew I was about to feel when it was my turn.

He then exclaimed to the observing gentlemen: “See, I told you. You should have gone before us.” To which they respectfully responded: “Oh, that is just a normal day for us. No worries.”

The knot in my stomach released at their polite comment. Maybe I’ll be ok, after-all 🙂

I then strutted up, plugged my tee into the ground, setup the ball and took a few practice swings…Upon taking my official swing I was pleasantly surprised with a “respectable” drive straight down the fairway.

Phew. We are getting off to a good start.

Through-out our game I was ahead of Ethan by several strokes, until…

There were 4 guys ahead of us. They must have observed that we were frequently waiting on them. So, they offered to let us “play through”, which means “pass them”, in golfing terms.

We are now at the tee off, to the 7th hole, with our new audience. Ethan goes first, with a fairly respectable drive.

It is now my turn.

After setting up the tee and ball, I seemed to be thinking more about the audience, than my game. In fact, the club felt different; awkwardly so.

I took my swing.

The result: The ball dribbled along the ground for a massive distance of about 40 feet.

At least no-one laughed (out loud) 🙂

I had Ethan grab the golf cart as I shamefully walked to my ball to give it another whack.

The result: The ball continued its behavior, by dribbling another 30 feet or so.

This continued for 7 STROKES. My lead over Ethan was now gone, as he was unaffected by the audience and played just as consistent on this hole as he did the others.

Son teaches Dad a lesson: Don’t worry about the audience. Just play.

Finally, after we got out of sight of our onlookers I regained my composure, respectably finishing the course.

I’m not going to tell you what our final score was for this 9-hole game, as the handicap was around what the par is for the course 🙂 Golfers know what I mean…

The story doesn’t end here, as we plan on this being a weekly event. And, my goal is to take the lesson from Ethan, to heart: Just focus on the game and don’t worry about the audience (or what other people think) no matter how good (or not) you are at something.

Bottom-line: Worrying about what other people think simply ruins your game (and life).

All the best!

There are 3 words that we might use to characterize ourselves, as relates to our disposition towards life.

1. Reactor
2. Floater
3. Creator

While we’ve ALL, at least temporarily, demonstrated characteristics of each of these, we generally have a tendency to fall into one of the above as our prevailing disposition.

Which are you?

The Reactors

For them:

• Life is a constant struggle.
• “Unforeseen” obstacles or issues seem to keep popping up – relentlessly.
• Much of life is already decided, based upon someone else’s actions or decisions.
• Negativity and complaining is the norm.
• A great deal of thinking is focused on the past: “Oh, I wish I had or hadn’t“; “Where are the good ole days?” Or, fretting about the future: “How will I pay for…?“; “What will happen if…?“
• Happiness is something they are waiting on, from someone or something “out there.”
• Circumstances rule the day.

The Floaters

This is the easy group. They don’t really care. The good news is that they don’t complain, either. They just take it as it comes and go with the flow. All-in-all, they seem to be a pretty happy bunch 🙂

The Creators

For them:

• Life is an adventure, full of never-ending (often self-imposed) challenges and opportunities (i.e., EXPERIENCES).
• Life’s issues and obstacles are immediately KNOCKED DOWN so they can keep moving.
• No-one decides upon their life, but them.
• Optimism and encouragement is the norm.
• A great deal of thinking is focused on: “What am I going to do / achieve / become next?“; “Who / how can I help?“
• Happiness comes from the inside (the spirit), which is the ONLY source of joy!
• Circumstances are CREATED when they don’t align with their aspirations.

The purpose of this post is NOT to judge a particular category. The point is to share perspective so that we each can determine which bucket we are in, decide if we are happy there and change if we are NOT happy.

Again, we’ve all exhibited characteristics from each of these broad categories, from time-to-time. That is only natural. The key question is: Which is the prevailing disposition for me?

Well, I’ll take the Creators.

How do I become a Creator? Scour this site and you will be on your way 🙂

Have a great week!