Priorities

Becoming a parent was the most extreme, life-changing experience I’ve been through. And, it was ALL for the good. Actually, the GREAT!!!

I recall when learning that Cindy was pregnant with our first son I felt a little, well, overwhelmed. I had many questions like:

  • Am I ready to be a dad?
  • Is now the “right” time?
  • Will I be able to afford the added expenses including dealing with the reality that we decided to become a single-income family, so Cindy could be home with the kids?

We found a “little” comfort in acknowledging the fact that people have been having children for thousands of years. And, why are we so different? So, stop worrying and get to it!

Before we knew it, we had 4. And, we are SO glad that we got’er done – EARLY. More on that, soon…

Looking back, we can say that everything came together through a TON of teamwork! However, we certainly weren’t convinced of that early on 🙂

As you may have read, in a prior post, it was about this time that I enrolled myself in an ongoing personal development program, which I’ve called my Boot Camp Experience (read about it by clicking here). This, along with the numerous productivity disciplines I implemented to drive myself, were all for a purpose: my new, highest priority. To provide for my family.

A key concern was, however, maintaining a “balance.”

Providence ALWAYS moves…

Shortly thereafter I came across the following quote in a magazine.

PRIORITIES – A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove…But the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.

It was presented in the image below, which I cut from that magazine, put in a frame and placed on a bookshelf in my bedroom, so that I would see it EVERY single day.

Priorities

This brought a tear to my eye almost every time I viewed it because that little boy in the picture represented each of ours. And, I not only wanted to make sure I provided for their “material” needs, but also that I would be there for them – personally.

The ever-important balance…

So, why do I say that becoming a parent was the most extreme, life-changing experience for me? Before I answer that, I’ll say that I would imagine this was ALSO the most extreme, life-changing experience for MANY others who have had children.

You see, it served to fully jerk me into the world of ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY. Because, I now had people (including a helpless little baby) fully dependent on me. No more screwing around. This is now serious.

Fast forward…

Over the last several years, as the boys have grown as tall, or taller than, me, this framed picture somehow slid to the back of my bookshelf.

Recently, Cindy and I were doing some “deep cleansing” of our house in anticipation of a large family gathering. It was at this time that we came across this framed picture. What a rush of memories, in terms of what it represented to me through-out the years and how important an image it was to keep in the forefront of my mind.

I took the faded picture out of the frame and scanned it for this post, to memorialize it. The cheap, dusty frame went to the trash.

In closing, use care to consciously set your life priorities (mine are outlined in an earlier post: Mind The Balance). If you do, and stick with them, you will, you MUST realize the outcome you desire.

What happens if you don’t set your life priorities? Well, quite honestly, someone else will. And, guess what they have planned for you? Not much…

All the best!

It Isn’t Selling. It’s Helping People!

There are so many misconceptions about selling. Justifiably so…

Most of us quickly conjure up an image of a used car salesman in plaid pants, pushing more vehicle than we can afford, as we wonder if he is pitching us a lemon.

We may also be reminded of the persistent telemarketer who gets us on the phone and will not take NO for an answer.

We have all been on the receiving end of these painful “selling” experiences. Many of us then come to the conclusion that we would NEVER “do” sales.

But, it just does not have to be this way.

You see, selling, when done right, is the highest paid profession (skill-set) on the planet. Selling simply connects a person’s need and/or want with a solution (product, service or idea).

Our 2 middle boys (Aaron and Ethan) are right in the thick of it 🙂

As previously mentioned, these guys are professionals in the personal training space. While their roles are based on effective “delivery” of personal training services, they are also commissioned to sell gym memberships and personal training contracts.

They were both working at the same gym in northern Mass – a GREAT market for these services. However, there simply wasn’t enough room for both of them at this particular gym 🙂

So, Ethan went to another gym, also in northern Mass.

They now both “pretty much” have free-reign at the respective gyms they operate from.

Ethan recently came home, excited as ever, to report that on the first day of the most recent 2-week sales period, he had achieved 92% of his sales quota. And, he has 13 days to bring in the remainder. All of which is only 50% of his personal goal. That is, he has set a goal to achieve TWICE what his actual sales quota is for the period 🙂

He mentioned that, upon first joining this new gym he thought it was too sales-focused. He has since realized that: It isn’t selling: It’s helping people!

You see, when people go to the gym, they do so to look and feel good – even great. Whether they are a visitor just trying out the facility for the first time (a candidate for membership) and/or are looking to take things to the next level (a potential personal training client) he has “services” that can help them achieve their goals. All he has to do is make conversation with them, learn their goals and present options and programs that are available to help them get there.

Did you hear that cha-ching? Another deal just closed 🙂

To augment his skill-set he completed a couple of marketing and advertising-related courses, over this summer. Hopefully, this will continue towards a 2nd degree in Marketing.

Then, there is Aaron.

In addition to his selling and personal training activities, he has had the opportunity to develop a number of marketing programs at his gym. This includes: designing a logo and t-shirts that are now sold at the gym (generates revenue and, more importantly, walking billboards). He also put together a 30-second commercial complete with video capturing highlights of a group training session, sweeps of the gym, with music and a professional voice-over. This commercial is now airing in local movie theaters, just prior to the feature presentation. And finally, he writes a blog promoting health and fitness. Bottom-line: The gym has seen new traffic from these and other marketing efforts he has spearheaded.

Separately, he placed his profile on a modeling agency’s website. This past weekend, he had his first “gig.” It involved pitching a new cologne for men, at a high-end retailer. By the end of the day this retailer had moved several hundred dollars worth of this brand new product!

In summary, they both are successfully building upon their foundational skills and education, to take things to the next level which is ONLY achievable via “selling.”

Why am I writing about this? Just to brag about my boys? Well, only partially 🙂

We all have foundational skills and capabilities – necessary to perform our assigned role. The question becomes: Are we limiting ourselves, in any way, by simply performing a narrowly focused job, when we could take things to the next level by truly embracing “sales”?

The result of taking things to the next level includes:

  • Feeling the inner satisfaction of helping someone achieve an important goal (personal, professional or otherwise).
  • Significantly increasing the amount of compensation (salary) we receive.

Embracing “sales” does not necessarily mean that we must become a salesperson (by title). It suggests that we develop and leverage the skill-set of selling: successfully connecting a person’s needs or wants with a solution (idea, product or service) that they adopt.

I recall many years ago, when I was VP of a large Customer Care organization…The SVP of Operations passed out the book: “Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In”, to all of his direct reports. Many thought the topic didn’t apply, as NONE of us were commissioned sales people.

However, we ALL were (like you are now) responsible for:

  • Working successfully with other people (peers, subordinates, superiors, customers and/or vendors).
  • Negotiating with others in such a way that we achieve go-forward agreement, with everyone feeling good about the outcome.
  • Over-coming objections, even misunderstandings in the process…

As such, all of the above really applies to EVERYONE. And these “sales” skills have a place in both our professional and personal life.

You see, we are “selling” when we are:

  • Trying to convince our children to do the right thing.
  • Recommending a new rock group, book, movie or great vacation spot to a friend.
  • Providing guidance to a peer or subordinate on how best to address a business challenge.
  • Suggesting to a client that they try a new service, or feature of an existing product, to better solve their “problem.”

However, we will NOT achieve the desired outcome of the other party accepting our “input” unless we have the finesse to “pitch” it to them in a desirable manner. Doing so is certainly not rocket science. Nor is this something that people are simply endowed with at birth. These are skills that we each can learn and hone throughout our lives.

Doing so enables us to realize that, quite literally, the sky is the limit!

Alternatively, we can live with an aversion to “sales” thus creating a glass ceiling for our career and related compensation.

In closing, impose no limits. And, change your attitude: It isn’t selling. It is helping people!

And, consider the recommended reading below, available at Amazon by clicking its image.

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All the best!

The Traveling “F-bombs”

Cindy and I recently returned from a 5-day / 4-night camping trip to Mooselookmeguntic Lake, in Maine. We again stayed on Students Island, only reachable by canoe. This being our 5th trip to this amazing territory.

We had beautiful weather with only 1 minor thunderstorm for which we were totally prepared.

We still cannot get over how peaceful a setting this area offers.

Mooselookmeguntic happens to be the 4th largest lake in Maine, depending on which statistics you reference. And, for its size, there are very few carbon units (people) and boats. We believe this results from 2 things: 1) Its remoteness – It is about 2 hours from the nearest major highway (Interstate 95). 2) A good portion of the shoreline and the 2 largest islands on the lake (Students and Toothaker) totaling over 6,000 acres of land, is owned and managed by Stephen Phillips Memorial Preserve. And, this land is only available for camping. You can learn more by clicking here.

There is a public boat launch on the southern end of the lake, and some homes along the shoreline, with the majority of the land remaining undeveloped.

Each time we visit we observe an abundance of wildlife. This time it again included viewing a bald eagle soaring overhead. These large birds of prey are easily identifiable with their white head and tale, as they majestically flap their wings during flight.

And, my personal favorite: the loons. As previously mentioned, I’ve never seen or heard so many loons in one place. In a typical (less remote?) lake, you may see 2-3. Here, it is not uncommon to see them fishing in packs of 7-8. Then, there is their unforgettable call, which echo’s for miles, across a large lake. Once a loon’s call is out, you will frequently hear another’s reply. The other loon(s) could be close by or miles away. When there are several loons in this calling frenzy it is absolutely incredible to listen to.

You REALLY must experience this, if you’ve not already.

To learn more about loons and the sound of their calls visit Wikipedia, by clicking here. Scroll down to “Etymology and taxonomy”, to hear the short audio recording – “Loons calling”.

As always, we did a lot of fishing and miles of paddling around the lake.

On our first day cruising the lake we were peacefully fishing a few hundred yards off the northern end of Students Island. It was a gorgeous, calm morning. The only sounds came from the loons and the voices of campers (young and old) off in the distance.

Until…

We began hearing the sound of a boat coming towards us with 2 middle-aged fishermen, who were trolling with 4 lines in the water. We could just barely make out the shape of the boat, which was well over a mile away.

How then, you might ask, did you know there were 2 middle-aged fishermen, trolling, with 4 lines in the water?

Well, it was quite simple…

You see, when trolling, the sound of the motorboat engine causes the occupants to speak loudly so that they can hear each other. And, sound travels a SIGNIFICANT distance over a calm lake.

As such, Cindy and I could CLEARLY hear every word of their conversation, which went something like this:

  • Well, we’ve got 4 “F’ing” lines in the water. We ought to catch some “F’ing” fish.
  • We have a “F’ing” fly on this one and some “F’ing” live bait on the other 3.
  • I’ve been “F’ing” drinking so much this summer.
  • What a “F’ing” beautiful day.
  • You get the picture. ALMOST EVERY sentence was enhanced with an “F-bomb.”
  • And, their voices were deep, with distinct Maine accents: our clue to their middle-agedness.

To be clear, our ears are not so tender that we can’t take an “F-bomb.” We’ve actually been known to utter a few ourselves 🙂

That is NOT the point.

The point is; we both cringed for the parents and their young children onshore, just behind us. Because, if we could so clearly hear these classy fishermen, then so could ALL the campers within 1-2 miles of this “scene.”

We just wanted to yell: “Please, shut up! There must be a dozen young children in earshot of you!

We realized that these class-acts would not have been able to hear our plea over the drone of their engine. So, we just laughed it off over the next hour or so until they finally trolled out of earshot (miles away), unaware of the sizable audience to their conversation.

But, it made me think…Think (again) about how we (knowingly or unknowingly) portray ourselves – ONLINE!

Without trying, I’ve seen so many posts on Facebook that I just cringe thinking about how others (who “may” look up to these individuals) shape their opinion and even their life, based on what they witness.

I know, some may say things like:

  • It is a free country. I can say what I want. Freedom of speech and all.
  • I don’t have any young children, so who cares?
  • My children are too young to read or use the computer, so who cares?

Have you thought of the following?

  • Some day you may have kids, or grandkids (3-5 years from now)?
  • Soon your little ones WILL be able to read and use the computer?
  • Do you have any nieces or nephews? Might you in the future?

You see, the stuff we post online DOES NOT SIMPLY GO AWAY.

And, have you experienced the Facebook feature, which seems to have recently been implemented? You know, the one that hauls-up a post (photo, etc.) from 1, 2, 3 years ago as an “anniversary-type” reminder?

Oh, how quaint. Or, is it?

Just what might that feature dredge-up for any new, tender young eyes who we’ve “friended” since that post originally took place?

The point: Just like the traveling “F-bombs” of our classy fishermen, we may “say” something online to a perceived, limited audience, which may ultimately reach a much broader audience than we had imagined – over time.

Remember: Facebook is a place people can go to check us out. Check us out in advance of offering a job, for example.

Considering ALL of the above, how do we want to be perceived?

As a free-spirited, loose cannon, who any good manager or company owner would find risky to hire, for fear of what may be said online about them, or their company?

This is very real: there are people who have actually lost their job due to an inappropriate Facebook post. As they should have!

We must realize, our every act has immediate and potentially longer-term implications that we simply may not be able to foresee. All the more reason to carefully consider our every word and deed.

Just something I was thinking of, as we peacefully floated on the smooth surface of Mooselookmeguntic, listening to the traveling F-bombs.

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We did catch some fish on this trip, none of which were the prized trout or salmon known to be in these waters. This included each of us catching our share of suckers (silvery, undesirable fish). And, I caught a good-sized small mouth bass.

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Will we go there again, this summer? Very likely!

On our day of departure we spoke with the campground manager and learned that they had just experienced a fire in their office, which had pretty much burned up their charts of campsite availability. So, over the next few days she has the onerous task of reconstructing this information from reservation slips that were salvaged from the incident. As such, she couldn’t immediately share campsite availability for August or early September. So, we’ll have to call them in a few days to determine our options.

All the best!